Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday, February 7th

Surely the wait is worse than the "know". Today Drew had his PET, CT scan, EKG, and Echo. We will know in a few days the results; whether the scans are still showing no active cancer cells. We wait literally on trembling knees. My mother's heart cries out, "Oh, God, please, please touch his body and heal him completely"; but, my spirit fights to yield my will to my Father's. Drew and I were talking some time back, and the subject came up of the cancer returning. He point-blank said to me, "Mama, if it comes back, I can't do this again." And, without a second's hesitation, I told him, "You can, Drew, and you will." My heart has smote me over and over again at the selfishness of my reply. The truth is, I don't know if I can ask him to endure any more pain; but I don't know if I can not ask him either. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and with all that is within me, I believe His great love for Drew, for us, will be the thread of hope to which we continue to cling.